God's Ongoing Incarnation

For over a year, Nouwen served as the morning assistant to Adam, a young man with severe disabilities at the L'Arche Daybreak community.

Excerpt from Adam by Henri Nouwen:

My friend had a lot more questions about Adam and the people who lived with me in my home: "Why spend so much time and money on people with severe disabilities while so many capable people can hardly survive?" And, "Why should such people be allowed to take time and energy which should be given to solving the real problems humanity is facing?"

I didn't answer my friend's questions. I didn't argue or discuss his "issues." I felt deeply that I had nothing very intelligent to say that would change my friend's mind. My daily two hours with Adam were transforming me. In being present to him, I was hearing an inner voice of love beyond all the activities of care. Those two hours were pure gift, a time of contemplation, during which we, together, were touching something of God. With Adam I knew a sacred presence and I "saw" the face of God.

For many years I had reserved the word "Incarnation" for the historic event of God's coming to us in Jesus. Being so close with Adam, I realized that the "Christ event" is much more than something that took place long ago. It occurs every time spirit greets spirit in the body. It is a sacred event happening in the present because it is God's event among people. That is what the sacramental life is all about. It is God's ongoing incarnation whenever people meet each other "in God's name."

-----------------------------------

I readily resonated with this post having experienced the exact same thing through my sister, Devin. It's actually taken me a long time to finish this post simply because it seems difficult to find the right words to express the way Devin has influenced me.

I remember the joy of finally hearing that I'd be getting the sister I'd been praying for. I remember dressing up to go meet her at the hospital: I was 4 days away from being 7. I remember her chubby little legs and her positively edible and endearing smile. I remember how she used to suck on my brother Daniel's nose until the day she grew teeth and bit him. I remember her sitting in a giant bucket of stuffed animals while Daniel and I played some elaborate pretend game that necessitated her sitting in a giant pink plastic bin full of stuffed animals. I remember when Mom and Dad began to be concerned that her development was a bit delayed. And how could I forget the hours in the hospital with countless tests and no answers. And I remember the first pair of glasses, the first wheelchair, the first leg braces, the first surgery, the first seizure, the first van with a lift, the first back brace, and the scoliosis surgery. And I remember finding out she had Rett's Syndrome when she was about 6...the relief in an answer. The joy in knowing that she was engaged in the world around her: she knew who we were, she understood when we said I love you...she just couldn't tell us with her words.

But I know her smile. And I know the looks in her eyes. We all know when she's telling us she loves us...or when she has an opinion she'd like to communicate. And I know countless numbers of people that have been touched by the radiant, unconditional love of Christ that flows so freely from Devin. Touched without even the exchange of words. Devin simply has to smile and look through even the most crusty, broken exteriors with her big brown eyes.

She's the perfect vessel for pure Father's love.

It's her gifting and ministry.

Tangible evidence that we ALL have value.

We ALL have a purpose in showing people God's Kingdom come here on Earth.

I believe in the ongoing incarnation of Christ Nouwen talks about. I believe because I experience it every time I am with Devin. Christ in me greets Christ in her. And words aren't necessary because the love of the Father speaks for the both of us.

Homecomings.

God has blessed me with many sisters.
The kinds of friends that have seen the depths heart:
the nice and the not so nice.

I love the story of how each of them have been woven into my life. Some gradually. Some for seasons. Some as beautiful, constant patterns. And some in a sudden explosion of color and wonder.

Aleya is one of the latter. A vivid eruption of exuberant life and beauty that was all of a sudden woven deeply into my world. She is an incredibly beautiful and dear woman of God who has loved, challenged and encouraged me. She reflects Jesus with every facet of her being, and after serving Him in Mozambique for the past 6 months, she will be home on Saturday.

Needless to say, her room (which is next to mine) and I are very much looking forward to her return.

Community: First and Foremost a Gift

From Behold the Beauty of the Lord by Henri Nouwen:

Community is first and foremost a gift of the Holy Spirit, not built upon mutual compatibility, shared affection of common interests, but upon having received the same divine breath, having been given a heart set aflame by the same divine fire and having been embraced by the same divine love. It is the God-within who brings us into communion with each other and makes us one. This message both confronts and consoles us. It confronts us with our inability to heal our own brokenness with self-made solutions, and it consoles us with the revelation that God indeed does want to create among us the unity we most long for.

-------------------------------------------------

I love the powerful simplicity of Nouwen's writing. Each word seems thoughtfully and deliberately chosen to carry an intense gravity of meaning.

I felt such a weight of responsibility lift as I read this passage. Community is a gift. A gift that is given when we receive the divine breath, passionate fire, and love of the Lord. So often my prayer centers around "Jesus...show me what to DO to foster/grow/maintain/enrich my communities. Help me to understand what is broken so that I know how to fix it." And yet, what Nouwen reminds us here is that community is the responsibility of the Holy Spirit. Not mine, not yours, not our friends', not our pastors'. Our call is to mutually encourage one another, to pray/seek/beg/plead for Him to unify our hearts. As we receive the same divine breath, have our hearts set aflame by the same divine fire, and rest in the embrace of the same divine love, community flourishes by grace.

What would our homes, churches, and friendships look like if we chose to simply receive more of what The Father longs to give us anyways?

-------------------------------------------------

Jesus, I'm so often in your way. I am incapable of healing the brokenness inside me, the brokenness of those alongside me, and the brokenness of the world around me. Would you show us how to do less and receive more?

Breathe your divine breath into our lives,

light your divine fire in our hearts,

embrace us with your divine love...

That we might taste your glory and find the unity we long for.

May your kingdom come here on earth and in our lives as it is in heaven.

Rest in the Divine Covenant

From Lifesigns by Henri Nouwen

Bonds that last cannot be based simply on good, better, or excellent interpersonal relationships but must be rooted outside the many devices and desires of the wounded human heart. Rooted in a bond that existed before and beyond human togetherness, bonds of true intimacy rest in the divine covenant. This is the covenant of God's faithfulness expressed in the promises made to Noah, Abraham and Sarah, Moses and the prophets, and made fully visible in the incarnation of Jesus.

God alone is free enough from wounds to offer us a fearless space. In and through God we can be faithful to each other: in friendship, marriage, and community. This intimate bond with God, constantly nurtured by prayer, offers us a true home. We can live together in this home without asking for much more than a willingness to constantly confess our weaknesses to each other and to always forgive each other. Jean Vanier considers this divine covenant the basis of every form of human faithfulness. We can only stay together when the "staying power" comes from the One who comes to us to stay. When we know ourselves to be deeply anchored in that divine covenant, we can build homes together. Only then can our limited and broken love reflect the unlimited and unbroken love of God.

-------------------------------------------------------

There are so many beautiful nuggets in this passage. I especially love the reminder that it is God's unlimited, unbroken love that enables us in our wounded brokenness to truly love one another. There is no room for fear because the Lord in His wholeness leads us to a place of intimacy with Him. The place from which all other relationships can grow faithfully and securely.

I also love the encouragement to willingly confess our weaknesses to each other. I for one, am one of the greatest perpetrators against this call to confession. I often have the thought: "Well, someone has to be strong, and it might as well be me." I feel (wrongly) that if I am not strong, then I will not be able to serve those that I love. And yet, we are actually stronger in our weakness because that is where God's power is made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9). God is teaching me more and more to embrace my brokenness and to allow others into the midst of my weakness to help bear my burdens.

It is beautiful. It is difficult. It is painful. It is freeing.

-------------------------------------------------------

I pray today and everyday that you will rest in the divine covenant, finding your true home in the intimate bond with Him. A bond that is nurtured by prayer. And that your community will be full of God's children that surround you (the lost, the found, the hurting, the lonely), full of willing, mutual confession of your weaknesses one to another, full of forgiveness...and that there will always be room for one more person.

For my mother...the reader of my blog (and anyone else currently unknown that happens upon my small corner of the interwebs :)

It's hard enough to journal when there's a lot going on...hence the following excerpt from my journal months ago that also applies to this blogging adventure.

"SO long since I've written. Way way waaay too long in fact. After a point though, my mind gets so full that I feel defeated. It's intimidating in that I don't even know where to start. I think sometimes I feel like every time I write, I need to have some deep wisdom or insight."

This feeling is especially poignant when there's the possibility for others to read.

I definitely feel the drive to perform in all my undertakings. I set high expectations of myself, and when I fail to live up to them, I wallow a bit. The longer the wallowing, the greater the humility required to try again. Thankfully, the Lord is growing me in this area.

So here we are, and rather than try to sum up the past year, I'll simply start afresh:

I think about "community" a lot. It's a value integral to my being...to all our beings because the God who created us in His image values community. He himself lives in community: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. I think about living in it, growing it, inviting people into it. The opportunity to know and be known.

It's a beautiful concept. But the practical experience of living in community is full of many challenging situations populated by glorious, life-giving moments where the age-to-come intersects the here-and-now. Exquisite glimpses of God's Kingdom here on earth.

Lately, I've been asking that God would make HIS heart for community more real to me. My head knows a lot of language to use when discussing community, a lot of concepts about what community should look like, and even a lot of what the word has to say about community. I've read numerous books that have spoken to me deeply, challenged me in my life, and inspired me with the possibility of community. And yet, what I actually want is for my heart for community to be more like The Father's heart. To have a deep revelation on the heart level that in turn transforms the rest of me.

I've been enjoying My Sister, My Brother by Henri Nouwen. It's a compilation of excerpts from many of his other writings that share his thoughts on living life together in Christ. I think my plan for the next while will be to blog on specific excerpts from this book that have particularly struck me.

For now, the most common theme that has emerged as I've been praying and asking for wisdom about cultivating unity is my propensity to overcomplicate the things of the Spirit...in this instance: community. I'm being struck over and over again with the simplicity of the call to community.

Love and be loved.

Know and be known.

Seek the heart of Jesus together...

...in whatever way you can, with whomever you can, wherever you can, with The Father's help using whatever gifts and abilities He has given you.

The specifics "whats" and "hows" are so completely secondary to the heart's motivation.

e.e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing

day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes.

(i who have died am alive again today,

and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth

day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay

great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing

breathing any--lifted from the no

of all nothing--human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and

now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Just Step In.

We had a meeting for small group leaders on Wednesday, and a girl from City Church came to share her insights after years of working in their ministry. Of all the things that she shared, what struck me the most was how much this girl really got the love of Christ. It shone through her...radiating...permeating everything she said and did. She showed me that kind of love is possible.

And I began to think about what it takes to walk in that kind of love. Why sometimes if feels hard, or far away, or even impossible. Because what I actually want is to live life positively swimming in that love.

The Lord gave me a beautiful image of the possibility of this way of living and being:

It was a picture of walking along the beach right on the waterline. The sand is soft there, and walking at that place for miles is tiring. The calves begin to burn, and it takes longer to get where you are going. Every so often, the foamy tips of the waves spill over your toes. For a moment, the sand is stiffer and your feet are refreshed, but it doesn't last as the water sinks deeper into the sand. It's like that in life, too. We can walk one way, and every so often we're touched, inspired, and refreshed as we experience the overflow of God's love, but it's only a moment. What we often fail to realize is that there is a whole ocean waiting for us to simply turn and just step into it.



Holy Spirit...teach me how to plunge with abandon into the depths of your love. Show me how to live and love from that place. Let your love flow through me to others. Change my heart and change the lives around me. Your love transforms. Your grace frees.